Saturday, April 11, 2009

Chronicles of a Wayside Hero: Part II

Chapter 2: The Battle of Credentials
Year: Unknown. Day: Next day to Previous Day.

Workstation. Neo reached just in time. His eyes scanned the area for any unusual activity. None, at least for the time being. He knew things were not going to be the same. He had his last drink last night. He knew he had to. It was time the battle was done with. All the what-if questions were going to be answered today.

He waited. Like a tiger preying on an innocent flock. Only difference was, this time it was no flock. He was one of Neo’s own. In the meantime, he started readying his plethora of certificates for the battle to be used like gambits when needed. He knew they wouldn’t help much, still, on this rough road; every trick in the book was valuable.

Then it happened. The much suited opponent with an arsenal equal to or better arrived. Agent Smite. ‘So, we meet again, Neophyte, what’s up with you today?’ He said, in a slow but firm tone.
‘The same that’s up with you, Smite. I’m as jobless as you are.’

‘Then, I guess, you’re still waiting. And so Am I. That puts us in a delicate position as to whether to maintain decorum or …’ and he jumped to occupy the only remaining seat in the office. A mammoth of a jump that Neo didn’t expect. But Morphguy had run a small script in Neo’s reflex event so Neo could react and do the needful. But Neo stood still like a zombie devoid of the eyes of life.

Line 1: Compilation error in Line 351 .Sense Parameter expected.

Smite did the jump through 5 floors and fell off over the edge of the building breaking the glass. Stupid.

Line 1: Jump array index exceeded Upper bounds.

The machine was still unoccupied.

Neo restarted his system by banging his head on the wall 3 times and Smite knew better than to jump. He used the stairs.

Now the titans stood facing each other.

‘You wanna do it old school?’ asked Neo.

‘I’AM Old school, newbie punk. I’ve been jobless for eons.’

‘It’s your way then.’

Now came the time for the credentials. They needed a judge, for the two were said to be extremely knowledgeable or just two plain idiots.

‘huh!, I have certifications in any language you can expect’ said Neo, with a karate chop posture and a certificate in his hand.

The language expert.

‘They ain’t looking for interpreters for a bunch of nomadic Hmongs, rookie’ said Smite. ‘I have the supreme knowledge called “Why” so I can easily figure where things went wrong.’

Ah… The Business Analyst.

‘Smite, with you around, I think we all can.’

The Battle of Credentials

‘Shut up! Or I’ll have you both fired!’ came a voice. It was the Workforce Oracle.

‘Who called her??’ asked both of them to each other.

‘You did’ said the Oracle. ‘Don’t ask me when because I can’t say. But the choice was already made by you. Give me your certificates now and bring me two small bits of paper, would you dear Neo.?’

‘Paper for what?’


‘WHAT!?’ came in chorus. ‘What about our certificates then?!?’

‘Oh yes!!! Why don’t we use a bit of them for the lot? Eh??’

‘Was this choice too already made, O naughty Oracle?’

‘Yes, I’m afraid so. And I even know who the winner is going to be’

And so can any other loser.

‘NNNOOOO!!!’ Smite faced an abnormal termination and was ported back to the pool.

Neo got his work terminal. Finally.

To be continued…


Vivek said...

Heh heh heh
If he had jumped out of the building it would be 'jump array index out of bounds'!

LOL! At Sense Parameter expected!

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

'Vivek-o-blogger!, Most thankful for thy comments. I shall indeed make the necessary changes in the future'