Saturday, May 01, 2010

Escape



This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

On a lone silent chilly night
Two silhouettes tucked in tight
As they walked towards a lonely house
He kissed her hard and she didn’t grouse.

He wasn’t passionate, he wasn’t sweet
He was an animal that made him a freak.
She couldn’t see it nor could she tell
Drugs- his escape while she was still bleak.

Pressed against the bedroom door
And they went bang bang.
And so did the noises soar
Bang bang and bang.

As people heard the noises
Knowing not what to do.
Muffled up voices gasping for breath
One shouting for more and one wishing for death.

Then a final bang they heard
As one burst through the window
And the people gasped in fear
A lone figure emerged to escape through the rear.

And the door swung open
She fell to the ground dead.
With exit wounds in her body
And a bullet in her head.

Only Then did the people realize
What the bang bang really meant.
Now they knew better to shut up
And into their houses they fled.

Based on a true incident that happened in Oklahoma. The killer was arrested 11 years after Ronnie, the wrong man was sentenced to the same time to do in prison. 11 years later, Ronnie was exonerated after which he lived a measly 5 years of his life and died of ill health.



The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

36 comments:

Anya said...

Touching story
on my early sunday morning ;(
Very well written ....
(Interesting to read also about blog-a-ton)

Enjoy your sunday
:)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Anya
Thanks! :) and yeah, probably you should try joining blog-a-ton :)
btw, its still Saturday here :P
Have a good weekend :)

The Fool said...

Poetry is a very powerful literary form for expressing oneself. I appreciate you on using poetry to tell a dark true life story. One area of improvement though - I felt you used some words out of place just for sake of rhyme. You should have probably given more thought to come up with more appropriate words to keep the rhyme scheme. poetry, though small takes a hell lot of time to write with attention to things like this.

Best of luck for the Blog-a-ton.

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Fool
Thanks a ton for the comment :) Points duly noted :) and thanks for dropping by!

Nethra said...

It was real story and you have narrated it through poem? It was very nice :) and sad too. :(
All the best for blog-a-ton! :)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Nethra
Thanks a lot :)

Leo said...

nice narration of a true story in poetry! well written! :)

ps: i don't think its sunday in any part of the world yet.. :)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Leo
Thanks for visiting and for the comment!

abt the P.S. LOL! :D :D

stuffilearnttoday said...

Nice poem... I liked it...
Don't have much to say toh

- The Virgin Author! said...

Sadistically nice, it is. Well written! :)

All the best for BATOM!

-
PS: Visit http://www.bit.ly/shewasenough

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@StuffIlearnttoday
Thanks for visiting and commenting :)

@Virgin author
Thanks! :)

Shadow said...

nice da!! good use of verse to narrate a story!
my opinion, only, but i've always felt poetry leaves a lot to personal imagination and interpretation, and as such, is a unique way of story telling!
i liked the dark tone and the way you have depicted the chaos, in the poetry! well done sir! :)

Sureindran said...

Well written mate. Thanks for highlighting this true story.

Sureindran R. - Escape

VJ said...

First of all, YIKES!

Second... well written... It's beautiful in a terrifying-sad sort of way... Melancholy..

Third, I am reminded of Tracy Chapman and her song - 'Last Night I heard a Screaming'... It is not the same as this poem, but... I am reminded of it.

All the best for Blog-a-Ton, Vibu!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

nice weaving of words....
compelling fabrication....

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

dude that was real nicely written...it is terrifying...:O... damm nice...

Saro said...

Probably the best poem I've read of the ten or so poems I've read on this topic. All the best for Batom!

Shahid said...

These are events which sadden the heart...and ur poetry was equally touching
well done

Shahid

Karan Shah said...

very touching..
and it again proves,
"justice delayed is justice denied"

V Rakesh said...

Very touching and intense!

And, as always, wonderfully well written!

Kanz said...

good one dude.. interesting plot :)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Shadow
Thanks man! And as you said, it does leave the portrayal of things to ones imagination :) well said:)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Sureindran
Thanks and god luck to you too!

@VJ
yikes it was :) but, this is just half the story :D And thanks!

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Mahesh Kalaal, Siddhesh
Thanks and do keep visiting!

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Saro
Thanks :) an read your version :) well written!

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@shahid
yeah.. this is one of the many thats happening all around the world.

@Karan Shah
Just like what is happening today, 17 months after the mumbai 9/11 attacks, a verdict has been passed..

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Rakesh
Thanks a lot :) Happy that you're one of the regulars :D privileged infact :)

@Kanz
the plot was the killer's and the prosecutor's :D

Sourav C. Pandey said...

Are you in to Literary, coz this is one masterpiece .. I'm so sure poems will take away this time's BAT! :D

in love with me and life..escape !

Geeta said...

story beautifully narrated through poetry...


All the best for BAT 10

Karthik said...

Telling a story, firstly, is itself a hard task. On the contrary, poetry is harder. And you have told a story through a poem?! It's truly exceptional. Kudos!
All the best! :)

Mehak said...

oh no..this was truly moving...:(
good narration in poetry form though..

Gyanban said...

reminded me of shawshank...
good poem - thought it was a bit tarantino-esq...
nice read.

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Sourav
Thanks and i'm humbled :)

@Geetha
Thanks and good luck to you too!

@Karthik
:) I wanted to write something about this incident and thanks to blog-a-ton :)

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Mehak
Thanks and yeah, it was a sad incident. Quite unfortunate.

@Gyanban
I'm a die hard fan of Tarantino :D So, i take that as a compliment ;) :P

evanescentthoughts said...

A true story in the form of poetry. Not many people can do justice. It was really good. One of the good poetry entries for BATOM.

Vibushan L Narayan said...

@Evanescentthoughts
Thanks a lot :)