Friday, November 20, 2009

Spit Happens

This happened on my recent visit to Chennai. And i'm kind of vouching that this happens only in India.

Yeah.. Like you've travelled to every other part of the world
Thanks Evil bugger... all the support I need!
And what's with the title?
For god's sake have some patience!
For all what's worth your rambling, i need a genie to grant me some
Again, thanks!
Go on!

Anyway, I got into an autorickshaw
Me: I want to go to the Lemon tree building, opposite the..
Driver: 250 Rupees saar..

Dude, I havent even told you the entire destination location yet!
It was like a kind of a reflex.

Me: opposite that police station, chetpet?
driver: Oh andhaandaya (roughly translated into "Oh, there!") , appo..mmm... 200 rupees saar..

Man! where do you have your account in? the Swiss bank?

As usual, like every other indian would do, i started bargaining and brought the fee down to 150. I know i've been cheated. Dont say it.

Evil twin: Ha ha ha! Not the first time bud
Me: I said! DON'T SAY IT!

I got into the autorickshaw and off we went.
Traffic Signal 1. The driver looked to his side and spit a huge blob of his saliva on the road...

Man! Yuck!

... and gave a reaction like he had escaped from alcatraz.

Frankly speaking, that reaction should have been given by that sorry spit that was fortunate enough to have escaped from his pan filled filthy factory producing stinky secrete.

Anyway.. i ignored what happened like I never saw it and like the other people on the road with a smirking face pretending nothing happened.

Signal 2. The guy looked down to his left and spit again.

Hello!? Don't you swallow your own saliva!? Is it poisonous? No? let me guess... Radioactive?

I thought the poor guy didnt know his way back and hence was making his mark so He could find his way back a'la Hercules Vs. Minotaur.

Now thats what I call a literal herculian comparison!

Ahh wait!.. I forgot to describe the post-action. Immediately after he spit, he took a cloth and cleaned his windshield.

Dude! You spit on the road! You ought to be cleaning not your windshield!

spitting, I guess, has become more of human secretion rather than a voluntary or a cult action.

Its not worth contemplating anyway...

Finally, i reached my destination. I took a couple of seconds before I could get down and you know why. I didnt want the driver's filthy sloppy projectile to have its bull's eye on my ankle. And yes, he spit and then I got down and paid him instead of paying him back. I paid him cash. The lumpsome he had robbed off me.

I was happy and walked cheerful towards work because all that could go wrong had already happened during my "delightful" journey.

Is that it!? Is that your post!? Oh genie! please grant me deaf ears instead of good patience!
I guess I made a point... ?
really? arrkkhh.. thooooo...
well... ahem... spit happens... I guess.


save trees said...

Super! Check out my post on CH1. Approximately about the same time you posted yours :)

Perception said...

Good one, can't stop laughing and good title.

Chiju said...

Good One! In Chennai... Spit Happens everywhere...

Vivek said...

funny funny funny :)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Lol! It certainly is a harrowing experience hiring a rick in TN, or so I guess its harrowing anywhere in our country!

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

@save trees
At CH1? I'm surprised, you like blogging there :) gimme the link

:) Witnessed it in real :) Welcome to the Gemini Mind



Was it only the rickshaw that caught your attention?
damn you Evil twin! thats why you should keep your mouth shut! People are listening!

Swati said...

bwhahahhaha..the 'saar' thin has been well captured ssar! :P

yeah man..we should have spitting competitions n India..say..'paint the town red??'

and from
Chennai Central/CMBT/Airport to lemon tree=Rs.200/-..again..bwhahahahahaha

yeah..i'm the evil twn! :P

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

red, white, yellow, green (gooey fluids):D
and abt the distance, i think it was from ambassador pallava to chetpet

$ph!nX said...

The attention paid to detail just makes me thankful the title wasn't 'Shit happens!! ;)

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

soon... very soon :)

sid said...

ive seen worse da...u shud b in madurai an ull swear neva ta leave ur house again vitout feet-protection...especially during da iyappan season...dey spit half way thro eating!!!its sickeningly colorful!:O

Shadow said...

"Frankly speaking, that reaction should have been given by that sorry spit that was fortunate enough to have escaped from his pan filled filthy factory producing stinky secrete."

hahaha!! super!

Kanz said...

Awesome writing :)