Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Case of the "Extra" Ingredient

Well, the other day, I was on my way home from office when I had the sudden craving for macaroons. I really can’t say why. It was that gut feeling, either way. So, I went and bought the first packet that I stumbled upon. Speaking of greed, I’m a Gemini. So I consider myself to have twice the quantity of whatever quality I have. So, twice the craving, twice the greed. Anyway, after rushing through the counter and surviving the drive home, while every second double proved Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, I finally reached. I couldn’t wait to remove my shoes. I didn’t.

Having barged in and scared the inhabitants of the house who are my family, I slowly opened my bag and took out the pack. I looked at it with the innate love in my eye. My precioussssss. My macaroonssssss.

Holding a macaroon in my hand, slowly putting it in my mouth and transcending into heaven- atleast, that was what I expected, after my insatiable hunger and the sudden macaroon craving. I stuffed one in and felt my mouth stick together like I had swallowed a whole batch of super glue bottles just produced. I thought I had taken too much for one bite and the next time, I took a small bite of an even smaller macaroon. The size of the bite was pint sized. I felt the macaroon turning into a strand of hard material that still begs for a name. I felt like a cow cud-chewing. Now you can calculate the amount of disappointment proportional to my hunger (always double the answer). Curious, I saw which reputed company had made the gooey-macaroon disaster. The label read, “Holiday Macaroons” and on top of that it “Hygienic Foods” (technically it’s at the
bottom) which cracked me up. But the best part was the ingredients listing.

The "Extra" Ingredient

The Holiday Package with the special surprise of the unknown ingredient

Well, I don’t know what to say, rather, I can’t… Probably because I’m still chewing cud.


Karthik said...

Just when I thought you were gonna get a hat trick of awards. :)

Gut feeling eh ? Punny bugger. What/How was your gut feeling after your cud chewing ? :D

Couple more things,

What's cashew milk powder ? You take a cashew (not the nut), beat it into a pulp, then dry it to make powder ?

It says best before three months. Clearly you bought it once it passed its prime. :) (There is no date of manufacture there.)

Oh, and just call that number and see what you get. You could vent your anger too, pretending that it's your friend and telling him not to pretend like he owns "tuticurin special cashew" foodS

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

@ Karthik
LOL :D That was funny :D :D In the first place, i dont think that number even exists, let alone me calling it up and venting my pent up aggression :D
To answer your question abt my gut feeling after the cud chewing.. i'm still wondering where the hell my gut is.. :)

And as for the cashew milk powder, i think thats something made out of cashew milk thats a natural by product of the sludge from the tuticurin "Healthy Foods" factory. Buggers.

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Whooops! What in the world could be that extra ingredient?

Succumbing to the gluttony, I would devour tonnes and truck loads of macaroons until the point of actually falling sick of being overdosed!

But now....the extra ingredient that you've suddenly discovered!!!! What on earth could it be????

Lets just console each other, rather assure each other that they weren't anything Godforsaken!!!!

;) And to make you feel a lil more rubbed, I must say that I've not had them in many many many years!!!


Vivek said...

'Healthy Foods' was the ironic part of it wasn't it?

Best before 3 months 3 months from??
Must have been made during the LOTR period!

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

The extra ingredient can be chosen from the options below
1. Super Glue
2. Limestone
3. Chalk Powder
4. An alien substance from Mars.

Ha ha ha :)Probably, LOTR was meant to be a romantic novel till Tolkein munched on some of these and started off a war :)