Why Whine Wine

1. Starts with one generation. Ends with another.

2. Too much of it in a day might knock you off.

3. Too much of it for a period of time will cause brain degeneration.

4. Is not sweet.

5. Kept to rot and that’s how others enjoy it.

6. Goes well with food.

7. After enough attraction sometimes it is all one can talk about.

8. The more the age, the more the value.

9. Stands the test of time.

10. Some lonely people consider it an indispensible companion.

Oh yeah... there is one subtle difference though.

Wine is heaven. A Television serial isn't.

Much as i'm against serials, i'm not against all of them. There are a few good stuff. Frankly, the majority is for nincompoops.

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The Incredible Sulk

10:00 p.m., Day- Unknown

And there she sat. On the couch crying out loud. A few people standing nearby saw her and yet stood still like dressed up mannequins. He was passing by and couldn’t help but Sit nearby and wonder what made her cry so much. What had struck her heart like a scythe that she couldn’t control her emotions in a place of public silence, he wondered. She cried and poured out a rain of tears, he guessed that she could dehydrate any moment.

He got up and left the place to get a glass of water and came back to see the woman still sobbing uncontrollably. She then looked up and spoke to god in a voice of distress.

“Why God? Why me? Why not the others?”

He couldn’t understand why. She was neither willing to give a reason nor give up her tears. She continued sobbing. And the mannequins were still staring helplessly not wanting to intervene and incur the wrath of the lady.

Water wasn’t enough, he understood. He went to fetch a glass of juice, preferably orange- fermented. His conscience would’ve suggested alcohol though, probably a bottle of scotch or rum. He returned to see the same state of mind haunt the lady through. She wasn’t to be controlled. She kept saying things. Things that you utter when in emotional distress. Things about asking questions for which you might never find answers. He was wondering what holocaust can put a woman through such a plight. Having sat there, his brain felt anesthetized.

10:29 p.m.

Suddenly, another woman entered the place. She looked quite happy with a wry smile on her face. And now, he could see only the woman’s face. The woman now took a vengeful look at the crying lady accompanied by hard drum beats and a clichéd music running at the background as the phrase “…to be continued” appeared on the screen followed by the roll of credits. The guy got up, switched off the T.V. and went off to sleep.

As promised, the tele-serial continued on for months.

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The Phantom of the Soap Opera

We are familiar with how our parents feel about soaps and serials.

Soaps. The name in every household. The very meaning of entertainment for womenfolk (not generalizing, but, a lot of them actually). Soaps have become a routine for homemakers giving them “something” to watch from dawn to dusk. A lot of women, (il)literally, speak of nothing else but the happenings in these shows. I haven’t witnessed even stock markets being this speculated upon! What has really puzzled me is the audience’s ability to recall stories (if they are), though incomplete, that are stacked up in their memory. At least it might help to keep Alzheimer’s at bay [;)].Anyway I guess I’ll have the question answered soon.

One evening, a conversation that happened between my mum and me. I was just back from being a nomad because of the indefinite holidays, cursed.

Me: Hi ma, whats up?
Ma: sshhh…
Me: Alright!
Ma: SSHHHH…

I turn around to see what the idiot box was yapping. I’m not surprised to see a soap star on screen.

Me: Ma!! I think I’ve see that guy somewhere. I guess some other TV channel. Happened to catch a glimpse of him while switching channels.
Ma: illa da. That was the guy appearing in (*&^*&%) as a (&^$&*) (censored due to safety reasons)
Me: hmpf.. I’m lost. Save it. Why don’t you go outside? Get some fresh air!?
Ma: HEY!! I’m NOT like the majority of ‘em. A lot of people watch soaps starting from morning till evening not moving from their couch, not cooking, not socializing, not..
Me: …??

She stopped. It was a godsend. But why an abrupt stop? Then I realized that the conversation had happened during the break. Now the soap had started again. I hit the sack. That night, I had a dream. Some guy being ill for a myriad amount of time recovers from cancer, “miraculously”. The doctors called it a “Medical Marvel”. The next morning I got up thinking about the unusual dream finding it vaguely familiar yet difficult to fathom. That evening, I was back home after my routine role as a nomad and while parking my vehicle, I couldn’t help but over hear my neighbors, 2 ladies, discussing something about some guy recovering from cancer.

Lady 1: Hey, I was outside last evening. Had to go to some important meeting at my son’s school. They call it some “Parents and Teachers Association meeting”. (Indistinct chatter). What happened yesterday?
Lady 2: Well, Manoj recovered from cancer! The doctors called it a “miracle”!!

I was shocked yet elated. Have I just had a premonition the previous night?!? It was hard to believe. Yet it had happened .Ignoring the rest of the conversation I went upstairs.

Me: Hi ma! I’m home… after doin… nothin!
Ma: Hi. (and that’s it. She didn’t ask much about what I was doing the whole day. Not that I did something important like saving the world or anything of value. Still, I consider it an obligation to ask)

Intrigued, I speak out loud.

Me: What’s that!? What’s so important that it’s not to miss??

Break time.

Ma: Don’t mock me! Anyway, Manoj just recovered from cancer. That was what they have been showing since yesterday!

I was shocked. I had just guessed what was going to happen in a soap opera in my dream! Then it dawned on me. Soap operas don’t need any premonitions or divine interventions to guess what was going to happen. All you need is the brains of Homer Simpson. I had the dream because I was trying to figure out the meaning of these soaps last night that my brain had to perform an emergency de-fragmentation of my memory while I was asleep. As usual, I hit the sack.

Soap operas are MUNDANE, ordinary, dull, routine, boring, unexciting, dreary and monotonous.

The above sentence was written with the help of a thesaurus. Soap Operas DON’T keep Alzheimer’s at bay but probably provoke it. They promote obesity and brain degeneration transforming lively homemakers to friendly neighborhood zombies.

This post is quite long for a blog post… like a soap opera is for a human life cycle

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