A Conversation with a Religious Fanatic

I happened to have this conversation with a professor who works in my University back in India. I was hoping to have a mature conversation on freedom of expression. To my surprise, I happened to experience, something, I thought I should share. The persona of hate and irrationality fuelled by Religious Dogma embodied by this cantankerous professor (to my grave surprise). I do not blame him (I do blame the environment he might have been brought up in) but I certainly am very disappointed that people continue to impede societal progress with such narrowminded convictions and more importantly such people find a place in teaching institutions, where the future of our nation is shaped. Bear with me through the whole conversation and you will definitely understand my concern and, hopefully, empathise
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A Chain of things to come

The good thing about today is its officially spring.
The good thing about spring is it is warm.
The good thing about warm is it isn't cold.
The good thing about cold is there aren't ants.
The good thing about ants is they form a line.
The good thing about a line is it is a symbol of organisation.
The good thing about organisation is it's patterns.
The good thing about patterns is their predictability.
The good thing about predictability is it is not anarchy.
The good thing about anarchy is it makes a deadly opponent.
The good thing about a deadly opponent is the presented challenge.
The good thing about a challenge is it is a test.
The good thing about a test is it has an outcome.
The good thing about an outcome is the victory.
The good thing about victory is the gratification.
The good thing about gratification is the sense of purpose.
The good thing about a sense of purpose is the ideal.
The good thing about an ideal is the direction.
The good thing about direction is the target.
The good thing about a target is it's connection to the source.
The good thing about a source is it's traceability.
The good thing about traceability is coming full circle.
The good thing about coming full circle is the big picture.
The good thing about a big picture is the organisation.
The good thing about organisation is it's pattern.
The good thing about a pattern is it's predictability.
The good thing about predictability is it makes an easy target.
The good thing about an easy target is it's vulnerability to bug spray.
The good thing about bug spray is it kills ants.
The good thing about ants is they are an organisation -predictable and thus vulnerable to bug spray.

Its spring... and the ants have taken my dessert. Its now official. Its Me versus the Ants. 

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The She that Wanted to Be - III

August 15th, 2013.

With all the pseudo-patriotic "Statuses" floating around Facebook proudly proclaiming themselves as Indians and India being the best country in the world despite it's obvious major problems including rampant corruption, rape, infanticides, sectarian politics and too much cricket, I decided to add one more to the list- Having this conversation with her impulsive self.

"Hey, Happy Independence day", I said. Very normally.

"Happy Independence day to you too! India is the best country in the world!" She exclaimed.

"Is that supposed to be patriotism?"

"Yes! I'm proud to be an Indian!"

I didn't want to quote George Bernard Shaw and George Carlin on national and ethnic pride but I decided to avoid it lest I suffer burn injuries. Instead, I decided to play along.

"Then why do you reside in the US?"

"Because US is the go-to place and the money is good!"

"Are you saying you'd give up your principles for money?" Might say a lot about her if she had said yes.

"No No! Because my job sent me there."

"Why would you leave the best country in the world because your job sends you somewhere else?"

"Because my job is important to me! That's why!"

"So you'd put your self-interest before your country. Then why would you call yourself patriotic?"

"I'M PATRIOTIC BECAUSE I THINK I AM. Now you can bugger off!" Ah the cogito.

An Indian living in the US using a British slang... Hmm.. I'm guessing she was just being polite with the word bugger.

"So it's just a feeling. You don't know why you love your country though?"

You played the bugger card too soon milady

At this point, I had already put on my shoes to ready myself when she chases me like a reaper. Her kind-hearted self decided to give up instead.

Dedicated to all the skin-deep patriots "proud" Indians. 

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Face Palm on a Holiday

Its the 6th of November and its a public holiday here in Melbourne, the occasion being the Melbourne Cup- Australia's major thoroughbred horse race with dressy men and dressier women (Drinking and watching the race, Not riding them). Famously tag-lined as "The race that stops a nation", it is indeed true, because its 2:00 pm and I'm just crawling out of bed. After a hard week at work, I didn't want to leave the comfort of my cosy sponge heaven. So I just lay there with this weird thought in my head.

What is it that Tony Stark has that Bruce Wayne can never have?

One part of my brain is speaking for Tony Stark while the other is speaking for Bruce Wayne.

Tony Stark has shit loads of money.

So does Bruce!

Tony Stark has the Stark empire!

Bruce Wayne has Wayne enterprises. Stalemate. 

Tony Stark has a fancy suit.

Yeah.. like Bruce walks around in his pyjamas.

I meant his Iron Man suit, fool.

Oh right! And what's Batman meant to be? 

Tony Stark has the lovely Pepper Potts!

Bruce Wayne has the sexy Selina Kyle!

Iron Man has Jarvis!

Batman has Robin.

Ok, both looking equally gay now.

Iron Man can fly!

Batman has The Bat! Ha!

Iron Man has the repulsor rays.

Batman has the utility belt!

.
.
A moments silence and then.. Yes! I have it!

Tony Stark can have facial hair.

Bruce Wayne can... wait... !? Noooooooo!!

I snapped back and backtracked this weird train of thought and realised its also the time for the annual event Movember when, during the month of November, people grow a Moustache to raise awareness towards prostate cancer and other male cancer initiatives (Wikipedia). So I'm sporting a Mo :)

Nevertheless, Well played Mr. Stan Lee, Well played.

I need to get out more.

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In Faith

Books of the ancients in temples they lie
Callously guarding an old timely lie.
Questions in questions the deeper we pry
Consumed by the answers the harder we try.

Lies of the leper, the mystic, the sage
Unearth the truths of the stories of age.
Question religion for people to see
The grandest of shows is how we came to be.

Hands clasped in prayers while chanting “Amen”
Surrender your mind to the all-powerful men.
They whisper the stories that you want to hear
While deaths in their thousands, not one single tear.

This cosmic dictator with you as His pawn
Like you and your millions, the faithful to spawn.
Like wolves in sheep’s clothing spreading His word
To pounce on the heathen their reasons unheard.

Ground them to dust in the name of the Lord,
God founding Men versus Men founding Gods.
Deities for them, from their sins to be freed
Myths of the bronze age for answers in need.

Clamours of faith, their synergy with steel
Besieged by your kind while refusing to kneel.
Unleash an order by breaking this hell
These shackles contrived by the chains of this spell.
Free from the cries for this All-seeing eye
By spreading your wings and reach for sky.

A humble response to the unnecessary pogrom ravaging today's society. Violence perpetrated by men of faith who have pledged their lives to their dogmatic brethren without so much a clue as to what humanitarianism is all about.

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I Am that I Am

Pointers
1. The Red A is to support Prof. Richard Dawkins's (and the rest) promotion of Secularism
2. For the biblical explanation on what "I Am that I Am" is, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_that_I_Am
3. This is my play on the statement from the scriptures
4. The Science 1:1 is on purpose based on the font called "The Dreamer" as a tribute to the truly elegant minds of our scientists
5. 1:1 is to indicate that this would be the first sentence in the book of science (if there is one) signifying that Science is all permeating and "Science will be what Science will be"
6. 1:1 also signifies that there is no scaling of the truth of science according to ones own tastes. The truth is absolute.
7. I'm planning to get this on a Tee :)

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Sonny: Customer Satisfaction

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I have been away from the blog-o-sphere for quite sometime. My laptop's motherboard unexpectedly went into labor (i'm still perplexed) and I thought i will be getting a small portable laptop. It spit out a burnt chipset instead. So, i beat the hell out of it. Anyway, this is one of the pending posts that I had planned to post after which I don't know when I will be posting as work (so to speak) is keeping me busy. I'm moving to Australia (incase you hadn't noticed, the brief theme change showcasing Melbourne was a symbolism of my visa grant) next weekend and the entire packing process is as tedious as the visa process itself. I hope to get back to the blog-o-sphere asap. So its not good riddance for you yet! :)

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Fifa World Cup 2014 – India

This is just a musing on what would happen if India hosted the Fifa World Cup though I think I have gone a bit too far in calling it in 2014. For a change, India qualifies. Yeah right... only because it acts as the host.

Opening Ceremony and Miscellaneous:

The opening ceremony which should start by 5:30 would start by 6 after a constant yapping in the studio by 3 people who can’t just shut up for a while.

The opening ceremony will boast of performances by A.R. Rahman, Deepika Padukone and other bollywood stars who just haven’t performed enough till now. Rahman might perform his “legendary” Jai Ho and be off with it. Then there will be a meaningless stage dance by Deepika/ Katrina Kaif which is of no relevance to the competition or one that portrays not one bit of the culture of India. Ultra creative.

The very little Culture left.

Thus all performances pertaining to our cultural dances which vary from state to state enough to entertain people for hours together and the cultural music of India which is just beyond count, is all forgotten. Then there are fireworks.

Ah! The fireworks!

There will be a sponsor blimp that is afloat till the tournament comes to an end though no one will have a clue why it is so. The camera will focus on it from time to time regardless of how irritating it is to people watching it on TV. And the commentators too, will keep ecstatically saying “There it is… the blimp!”

god... we all know it. It’s the friggin’ millionth time you’re saying it.

The Match:

The match will begin in the normal fashion that it is supposed to. Then do the stars make their appearances. Shah Rukh Khan will arrive on the premises and the camera instantly focuses on him. Shah Rukh (with his teeny tiny brains) will wave to the spectators with nil regard to who the heroes of the occasion are. We, kind (sometimes brainless) Indians, wave back.

Incase you didn’t guess who the heroes are, they are the players. Duh.

Everytime the ball is picked up by the Goalkeeper, in that tiny timeframe of 2 seconds, Maxmobile will advertise its products. Again, it’s one of the most frustrating things you experience when you’re watching Live Television.

Yeh mera Max mobile. Mera... Shut up you moron! you’re killing the game mood man.

The camera then focuses on the blimp and when it comes back, Italy is reduced to 10 men. TV watchers are clueless how it happened.

After the first half, there will be an interview of Katrina Kaif when she lies that she loves football and that she has been following it since her childhood. Pele and Maradona are her favorites. My 2 year old nephew can say those names. Please Katrina, go back to your stuffy caravan and also, learn to act, for a change.

And then the second half begins and finally the match ends. That’s about enough match coverage. Really.

The Team:

Oh yeah… I forgot… You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.

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Sonny: Warning Codes

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An Oblivion in Gray

May, 1999.

Alone, I lay, covered in my own grief and blood. My once pugilistic self had gone placid. Clenched fists slowly unveiled to become open hands trying to embrace the situation that was once a behemoth looming over its prey. The rumbling skies looked down upon me with utmost sorrow that it began to rain its cries. It was a season when the sky didn’t know whether to reveal the sun or the rain. Nevertheless, it rained. I lay there humbled by the gesture. My accoutrements were strewn all over the place. Glimmers of past memories whisked my mind like the flapping wings of a humming bird. There wasn’t any movement from me but for a wince that showed disbelief and realization at the same time. I had given up the urge to resist. I could see the images in front of my eyes blur and fade away. Everything there is, boils down to this one point, eventually. We had won but deep down, I know we lost. We lost everything. Things we loved and things that meant the most to us. The thought stuck me like a hungry blade right through the heart claiming what it was meant to almost immediately.

A life of war and sacrifice,

I see no gain but pain.

A soldier seeking fortune in vain

I hope to live again.

Standing on the barren war front,

We go along the rhyme.

Fearing as the end approaches,

Victims of our own crime.

Left our traces on the war field,

By the many lives we steal.

As my comrades had their time,

And so did I have mine.

Walking through a shore of bodies,

But will they rest in peace?

There’s no life without a soul

And the power that makes them whole.

Kneel and pray for forgiveness

My wounds are hard to heal.

For all the deeds that have been done,

Search for reasons none.

With this thought, I closed my eyes... darkness. Black. Everything went dead silent and I knew I was sinking. Then, a shadow stretched out its hand.

Footnotes: The content sans the time period is entirely fictitious. The time period is when the kargil war took place. I have tried to pen down my imaginations on the revelation a wounded soldier experiences in the last few minutes of life.

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