Friday, July 02, 2010

Sonny: Customer Satisfaction



Please click on this image to enlarge it.

I have been away from the blog-o-sphere for quite sometime. My laptop's motherboard unexpectedly went into labor (i'm still perplexed) and I thought i will be getting a small portable laptop. It spit out a burnt chipset instead. So, i beat the hell out of it. Anyway, this is one of the pending posts that I had planned to post after which I don't know when I will be posting as work (so to speak) is keeping me busy. I'm moving to Australia (incase you hadn't noticed, the brief theme change showcasing Melbourne was a symbolism of my visa grant) next weekend and the entire packing process is as tedious as the visa process itself. I hope to get back to the blog-o-sphere asap. So its not good riddance for you yet! :)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Fifa World Cup 2014 – India

This is just a musing on what would happen if India hosted the Fifa World Cup though I think I have gone a bit too far in calling it in 2014. For a change, India qualifies. Yeah right... only because it acts as the host.

Opening Ceremony and Miscellaneous:
The opening ceremony which should start by 5:30 would start by 6 after a constant yapping in the studio by 3 people who can’t just shut up for a while.

The opening ceremony will boast of performances by A.R. Rahman, Deepika Padukone and other bollywood stars who just haven’t performed enough till now. Rahman might perform his “legendary” Jai Ho and be off with it. Then there will be a meaningless stage dance by Deepika/ Katrina Kaif which is of no relevance to the competition or one that portrays not one bit of the culture of India. Ultra creative.

The very little Culture left.

Thus all performances pertaining to our cultural dances which vary from state to state enough to entertain people for hours together and the cultural music of India which is just beyond count, is all forgotten. Then there are fireworks.

Ah! The fireworks!

There will be a sponsor blimp that is afloat till the tournament comes to an end though no one will have a clue why it is so. The camera will focus on it from time to time regardless of how irritating it is to people watching it on TV. And the commentators too, will keep ecstatically saying “There it is… the blimp!”

god... we all know it. It’s the friggin’ millionth time you’re saying it.

The Match:

The match will begin in the normal fashion that it is supposed to. Then do the stars make their appearances. Shah Rukh Khan will arrive on the premises and the camera instantly focuses on him. Shah Rukh (with his teeny tiny brains) will wave to the spectators with nil regard to who the heroes of the occasion are. We, kind (sometimes brainless) Indians, wave back.

Incase you didn’t guess who the heroes are, they are the players. Duh.

Everytime the ball is picked up by the Goalkeeper, in that tiny timeframe of 2 seconds, Maxmobile will advertise its products. Again, it’s one of the most frustrating things you experience when you’re watching Live Television.

Yeh mera Max mobile. Mera... Shut up you moron! you’re killing the game mood man.

The camera then focuses on the blimp and when it comes back, Italy is reduced to 10 men. TV watchers are clueless how it happened.

After the first half, there will be an interview of Katrina Kaif when she lies that she loves football and that she has been following it since her childhood. Pele and Maradona are her favorites. My 2 year old nephew can say those names. Please Katrina, go back to your stuffy caravan and also, learn to act, for a change.

And then the second half begins and finally the match ends. That’s about enough match coverage. Really.

The Team:
Oh yeah… I forgot… You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Monday, May 31, 2010

An Oblivion in Gray

May, 1999.

Alone, I lay, covered in my own grief and blood. My once pugilistic self had gone placid. Clenched fists slowly unveiled to become open hands trying to embrace the situation that was once a behemoth looming over its prey. The rumbling skies looked down upon me with utmost sorrow that it began to rain its cries. It was a season when the sky didn’t know whether to reveal the sun or the rain. Nevertheless, it rained. I lay there humbled by the gesture. My accoutrements were strewn all over the place. Glimmers of past memories whisked my mind like the flapping wings of a humming bird. There wasn’t any movement from me but for a wince that showed disbelief and realization at the same time. I had given up the urge to resist. I could see the images in front of my eyes blur and fade away. Everything there is, boils down to this one point, eventually. We had won but deep down, I know we lost. We lost everything. Things we loved and things that meant the most to us. The thought stuck me like a hungry blade right through the heart claiming what it was meant to almost immediately.

A life of war and sacrifice,
I see no gain but pain.
A soldier seeking fortune in vain
I hope to live again.

Standing on the barren war front,
We go along the rhyme.
Fearing as the end approaches,
Victims of our own crime.

Left our traces on the war field,
By the many lives we steal.
As my comrades had their time,
And so did I have mine.

Walking through a shore of bodies,
But will they rest in peace?
There’s no life without a soul
And the power that makes them whole.

Kneel and pray for forgiveness
My wounds are hard to heal.
For all the deeds that have been done,
Search for reasons none.

With this thought, I closed my eyes... darkness. Black. Everything went dead silent and I knew I was sinking. Then, a shadow stretched out its hand.


Footnotes: The content sans the time period is entirely fictitious. The time period is when the kargil war took place. I have tried to pen down my imaginations on the revelation a wounded soldier experiences in the last few minutes of life.



Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The She that Wanted to Be - II

"Hey! .. How was your day?" She asked.
"Quite hectic. With the marriage nearing, I couldn't ask for more."
"Mine's been hectic too."

I knew she was gonna say that. After spending years trying to get to know her, i could not make the mistake of misjudgment.

My day was hectic, so was hers. Mine was damn bad, so was hers. I had a huge friend's circle, she had an even bigger one. So she thought.

"So, A long weekend comin' your way.. big plans?"
"yep. I want to learn 4 languages. I want to learn to play the piano. And I want to draw my own caricature on a big paper." she said.

A long weekend is usually 3 days. Not a lifetime.

"Great. So, when do you plan to start?"
"Tomorrow. Today, has been hectic!"
"What!? you don't even work!"
"Its been hard.."
"To whhat?"
"To find a mystery egg."

I took out a gun and shot her. No. I wanted to do that... But she would have mauled me in the afterlife.
I just laughed while sulking.

Ban farmville. Get a life.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Why Whine Wine

1. Starts with one generation. Ends with another.
2. Too much of it in a day might knock you off.
3. Too much of it for a period of time will cause brain degeneration.
4. Is not sweet.
5. Kept to rot and that’s how others enjoy it.
6. Goes well with food.
7. After enough attraction sometimes it is all one can talk about.
8. The more the age, the more the value.
9. Stands the test of time.
10. Some lonely people consider it an indispensible companion.

Oh yeah... there is one subtle difference though.

Wine is heaven. A Television serial isn't.

Much as i'm against serials, i'm not against all of them. There are a few good stuff. Frankly, the majority is for nincompoops.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

OvertKill

A nightmarish blood-lusting ghost,
Killing everyone, the path that he goes.
Die at the hands of the wraith
Victimize us for his religious faith.

Her majesty’s palace in burns.
Crying fire sparks while hammered to yearn.
Spilling the blood of your creed.
What good is it when there’s no profit or need.

This hate crime we can’t comprehend.
Hardened but helpless we fight to the end.
We fall to the ground as we cry.
You pride at our misery while watching us die.

The hands of fate- risen again,
Claiming its heads through the blood-hungry men.
It’s all just one big overt kill,
A bloodied masterpiece incomplete still.

Justice, it strikes slow and hard.
But what of the remains that’s broken and scarred?
What of our loved ones again?
What of our loved ones again?
Will we see them again?



I know it is not November yet. But I wrote this sometime back and thought I might as well post it now that the verdict has been passed.




Image Courtesy : Google Images

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Beware of this Post

It’s a known fact that the great minds work in the loo. Mine is no different.
I meant to say, mine works in the loo too, though useful thoughts hardly pass through.
Hey! That rhymes!
Sigh… Anyway…

I was just thinking, about some warning signs put up by dog owners outside their homes to warn strangers about them and that there isn’t one way of warning them without someone making a comment about it.
Some of them read

Beware of Dogs:
Thanks for the general advice but mine is quite friendly. Seriously.

Beware of the Dog:
Man… No offence… but is your dog the last surviving member of the species? No? Let me guess, was he the dog that the Greek God Hades petted? No no… wait… that was Cerebrus… which one is yours, again?

Beware: Dogs Inside:
Ha ha ha ha!! What do I say!? What CAN one say!? I know you have family issues, but please don't rebuke them in public...

So I guess the best would be to just hang something like this outside and let your dog and the stranger take care of the rest.


Image courtesy: Google images - http://planetzuther.com/OTHER-IMAGES/dogIcon.png